i learned how to die a long time ago.
i learned how to die a long time ago. and today i woke up depressed. walked to the closet, put on my sunday’s best. brewed mint tea, crawled into bed. felt tears behind my eyes, some things they just never dissipate. when it was time to leave for oxford, my heart said no and my feet turned to concrete. i grabbed my keys and threw them away. she messaged me to say good morning and i sent a fake colon and closing parentheses back. this is why it’s best to keep your doors closed. you don’t want to be a bad host. so it’s just best to dim the lights and tell the guests to keep traveling west. there’s nothing for you here. there’s nothing left.
untitled three.
your death left patches, patches in my skin.
so she tattooed lines, and kept you inked in.
prophet/profit.
we built Your house with the help of mammon, so strong. and we pray that the children are fed tonight. his tongue, ‘prophetic’. he speaks Your name so eloquently. in his pockets, profit. let’s kiss that gold cross again. and we pray that the children are fed tonight. you can’t contain the Spirit, but this den is selling doves. selling Your grace because we know it isn’t cheap. and we pray, we pray for those children tonight.
twenty seven seven two thousand eleven.
and, and i’m still your boy.
callie alexandra beneath the hedgerow trees,
i’m still your boy.
for thirteen years you’ve taught me love.
and love, love can never be gone.
xx
corinth.
we are not even ‘resounding gongs’ or ‘clanging symbols’.
we do not even speak. this language is dead.
evelyn.
evelyn enters the forest
as tears from her eyes
mix with the drops of water
falling from the sky.
“oh my God, he was my love
he was my existence.
i hate you my God,
you took him in an instance.”
but her god does not answer
and she falls to her knees,
folds her arms against her chest:
a flesh shield against the breeze.
“sunrise through sunset
he worked in that hole.
my God, he worked so hard
to rid this earth of its coal.”
“‘plus de charbon’,
the men in suits would say.
so deeper my love dug
or else they would not pay.”
“but my God he went so far
and the walls they all caved in.
him and his closest friends
were buried as a kin.”
“rhondda valley consumed my love,
and the river shall now take me.
my love i am coming
for where you are is where i must be.”
evelyn crawled to the river
her body it fell in.
she took a breath of water
as her face formed one last grin.
cold.
calloused fingers clench my heart
as a broken voice lights the dark.
he said ‘these two broken hands
were never enough to meet demands.’
untitled one.
apparently you don’t have the correct heart and mind for such art, my dear.
excuse me love but i will speak as such until i’ve had enough. for my God, i don’t care about which form of written word tastes sour or sweet upon your scarlet tongue.
don’t make this stop for that would be the death of all things bright and the light would cease and the ocean’s breeze would fail to reach the trees and all the little boys and girls scraped knees dangling from the swings at night.
